Kindle Giveaway, Stocking stuffers, and Starbucks gift cards! Party hardy!

stuffers

Stocking Stuffer Giveaway Dec 15th for sharing my events! All prizes there by Christmas! Earbuds, Kindle Case, Starbucks Gift cards, and bookmarks to several winners! Click HERE!! To learn how to enter!

We are also doing three parties that rock so hard! First, The Treemakers Release! December 3 and this event is going to be legend…(wait for it)…DARY! Legendary!

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Second Ya/Na New Years Celebration! Jan 3—with TEN YES YOU HEARD RIGHT TEN Authors! Best selling books being GIVEN away, over thirty titles, along with a Kindle Giveaway and wine and chocolate!

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And lastly Book by its Cover Awards Ceremony!

January 10th

Grab your best indie cover and bring it over we are still nominating! Trophy for best cover and trophies for other catas!

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Combined we already have 700 people going to these events yahoo~!

Join Join JOIN!

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My German Wife Compares Me to a Feral Child Raised in the Jungle by Apes

Hahaha!

Oh God, My Wife Is German.

tarzan-swinging-from-vines-funny-fail “Look Ma, I can swing all by myse-OHSHIT!”– Photo Credit: BillBl (https://www.flickr.com/photos/billbliss/) — Subject to CC Attribution 2.0 Generic Copyright.

Back in March of 2012, my wife and I were in the kitchen cooking chili. (And not just any chili, but ultra spicy, bowel shivering, anus puckering death chili.)

During the course of the food preparation, we struck up a conversation about German vocabulary. Specifically, she taught me how to say the word “television,” which is “der Fernseher.” Literally, “Fernseher” translates into English as “far seer.” I nodded and stroked my chin, and we both took a moment to enjoy the blatantly obvious logic behind this discovery. Then my wife smiled and gestured with a large wooden spoon in her hand, swirling it in the air like a magic wand of knowledge, declaring:

“I like when we speak German together so that we are both learning. Like Tarzan and Jane.”*

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